Editor’s Note: This story involves discussion about veteran suicide that some readers may find upsetting. If you feel you are in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 24-hour Suicide Crisis Lifeline. Veterans and their loved ones can dial 988 then Press 1 or text 838255 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line.
(CNN) — During his deployment in Vietnam, James Goulding served as a sergeant in a Marine Corps battalion known as The Walking Dead, which suffered one of the highest casualty rates of the entire war.
Forty years to the day after leaving Vietnam, Goulding himself became another victim of the war when he took his own life, according to his wife, Linda.
“It started on this day,” he wrote in his suicide note. “I’ll end it on this day.”
To Linda Goulding it was an obvious reference to her husband’s time in Vietnam and the years of post-traumatic stress disorder brought on by his combat experiences while there. But convincing the Department of Veterans Affairs of that would be another matter.
Because her husband never sought professional help for his mental health problems and was never officially diagnosed with PTSD, the VA denied Linda’s claim to receive dependent death benefits – a tax-free monthly payment worth thousands of dollars a year.
Goulding battled the VA for nearly a decade before a judge ultimately ruled in her favor.
“You shouldn’t have to fight for it,” she told CNN of the benefits her husband earned. “He fought for you.”
Goulding’s experience was hardly an isolated case.
A CNN investigation found that even as the VA has invested hundreds of millions of dollars addressing the veteran suicide crisis, agency officials have denied crucial benefits to hundreds of families of veterans who killed themselves after being discharged from active duty.
A widow refusing to give up: ‘I wanted them to acknowledge that he had a family’
Strict VA rules require families applying for benefits to submit medical documentation showing their loved ones’ death stemmed from their time in the military. But as the agency itself has acknowledged, many troubled vets never seek professional help for their mental health problems, making that proof all but impossible for some families to obtain after a suicide.
CNN found that even some families that could show their vet had been diagnosed by doctors inexplicably had their claims denied.
In one case, VA officials denied a mother-of-four’s claim for benefits after her Iraq War veteran husband killed himself by blaming his suicide not on his combat-related PTSD, but on marital problems. Another widow was denied after her husband, a 20-year veteran, killed himself at the VA medical center where he was receiving mental health care.
Many families, like the Gouldings, fought for years to get the benefits they believed they were owed. Some waged legal fights that spanned decades. On average, families spent five and a half years appealing their denials. More than 230 families spent more years fighting for death benefits than their veteran served in the military.
Since 2001, more veterans have died by suicide than have been killed in combat, according to one study. The VA’s 2024 suicide prevention report found that, on average, 18 veterans across the United States take their own lives every day. The VA has made suicide prevention its top clinical priority and asked for more than half a billion dollars to address the problem in its 2025 budget.
The agency, however, does not track how often it denies claims filed by families of veterans who take their own lives.
When a veteran dies, their spouses and dependents can file for several benefits, including educational assistance, burial expenses and a tax-free monthly payment called Dependency and Indemnity Compensation, or DIC, which ranges from $1,600 to $3,500 a month. To qualify requires proof a veteran died in a way that was demonstrably linked to their service. When it comes to suicide, that can prove difficult, as Goulding learned during her pursuit for benefits.
“I kept thinking, ‘How many other women have given up?’” she said.
CNN’s analysis of VA case files found that nearly 500 families that filed claims following the suicide of a veteran had their applications rejected.
The VA said it doesn’t track how many suicide-related claims it processes, so exactly how many families have been granted or denied remains unknown. However, the agency’s data suggests the 469 cases CNN reviewed are likely a small fraction of such cases.
To win these claims requires documented proof that a veteran’s mental health struggle was related to their service. But VA research found that, between 2001 and 2021, nearly 18,000 veterans who died by suicide had no mental health condition.
Of those in CNN’s analysis who began their service in 2001 or after, nearly a third of the veterans who died by suicide had VA-diagnosed PTSD, and yet their families were initially denied benefits, thrusting them into the often lengthy appeals process.
Among those denied were the widow of an Army veteran who killed himself on the grounds of a VA clinic after having been diagnosed with schizophrenia the VA determined was linked to his service in Vietnam, and five military wives who survived being shot by their husbands in the moments before they killed themselves.
The list includes widows of veterans whose service dated to World War II and the Korean War, and 83 families whose veteran had been decorated with the Purple Heart, the Bronze Star or other top honors.
“VA is under new management and is refocusing on its core mission: providing the best care to Veterans, families, caregivers and survivors,” Dr. Lynda Davis, who President Donald Trump appointed as chief veterans experience officer at the VA, said in a statement in response to CNN’s findings. “To that end, we’re working across the department to improve survivor programs so beneficiaries can have the most supportive, convenient and seamless experience possible in their time of grief.”
‘Take responsibility’: Emily Evans’ message to the VA
Despite the VA’s emphasis on suicide prevention, the burden of proving a veteran took his or her own life because of their past military service can be a daunting task.
“Even if someone is service connected for PTSD, you still have to prove that the PTSD resulted in suicide ideation,” attorney and veterans law expert Zach Stolz explained.
Family members seeking benefits must show three things: that their veteran was “so unsound mentally that he or she did not realize the consequence of such an act,” that their “unsound mind” resulted from a mental health disorder and that this disorder was related to their service.
If it’s a close call, the benefit of the doubt should be given to the veteran’s family, according to the federal code.
But that’s not always the case.
In the eyes of Emily Evans, there is zero doubt her husband Michael’s suicide is linked to his time in the Army.
After he left the military in 2013, the VA diagnosed Michael with PTSD and a traumatic brain injury, or TBI. He and Emily developed a way to manage those symptoms, she said.
That was until he suffered a “complete breakdown” on the anniversary of the death of a fellow soldier and friend with whom he’d served in Iraq.
Michael became paranoid, hypervigilant, self-isolating. Despite having previously avoided alcohol knowing it would worsen his PTSD, he started drinking. His personal hygiene deteriorated.
“Even his eyes went dark,” Emily said. “He was just gone.”
His behavior caused significant strife in their marriage and scared their four children.
Since the VA had previously connected Michael’s PTSD and TBI to his military service, Emily did not expect a problem obtaining the benefit she believed she and her kids were entitled.
She was wrong.
The VA denied her claim last year. One reason: marital problems. Another: that in a medical visit to the VA a month before his death, he told a physician he wasn’t suicidal and wasn’t drinking much.
Both were lies, Emily said. Not only had he been drinking heavily, he had put a gun to his head three times in the months before he killed himself.
She said she wasn’t surprised Michael had not been truthful. She had tried repeatedly to get him help, she said, but he resisted, insisting he didn’t need it.
CNN’s analysis found the VA denied the claims of at least 45 families seeking benefits following the suicides of veterans diagnosed with duty-related PTSD, including 10 who previously attempted suicide.
More than 60 other families were denied benefits following the suicides of veterans who were seeking a PTSD diagnosis prior to their deaths or who had been diagnosed with some other mental health disorder or TBI connected to their time in the military.
Many denials reviewed by CNN showed no documented proof of PTSD or mental health disorders.
Families and experts agree veterans often avoid mental health help because they may believe other vets are worse off, or that they don’t deserve it or are simply put off by the stigma that talking to a therapist is a sign of weakness.
Another significant barrier to receiving benefits following the suicide of a loved one is the struggle to navigate the VA’s massive bureaucracy when collecting information for claims. Part of the problem is that the VA does not have a single, standardized system allowing for easy access to a veteran’s records.
The agency, for example, relies on more than 200 information systems to process claims and store records, a 2021 report from the Government Accountability Office found.
For that reason, people seeking benefits should enlist the help of an accredited advocate to assist them, said Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann, deputy director of government and legislative affairs at Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, a nonprofit commonly called TAPS.
Hali Church embarked on the application process on her own following the death of her husband Clyde, a Marine who served in Afghanistan.
Following his discharge, he suffered a breakdown in April 2023 shortly after the birth of their baby, Hali said. He would disappear for hours, look for things in mirrors that weren’t there and talk “crazy shit” related to his deployment. When he looked at his newborn son, he saw dead babies in Afghanistan.
He was twice hospitalized at the Phoenix VA health facility –– most recently as a result of complaining that he was suicidal –– but was discharged two weeks before he killed himself that July, records show.
Hali Church explains why phone calls to the VA were so painful
The VA denied Hali’s claim last year after determining her husband did not have any documented disability tied to his time in the military.
She told CNN that shortly before his death, Clyde had reached out to a veterans’ organization hoping to connect his mental health issues to his war experiences. He died before that was accomplished.
Meanwhile, she said, she continues to struggle to obtain medical records and complete paperwork while also grieving the loss of her husband and caring for their baby, who “looks just like his dad.”
Without Clyde’s benefits, Hali said, “I have nothing for my son.”
Her claim remains on appeal.
Emily Evans, Linda Goulding and Hali Church all expressed a sense of being abandoned by the VA during the claims process. Their fight is not just about the financial benefit owed them. They also want accountability, for the VA to acknowledge their husbands’ service and the price they’ve paid fighting. It’s a battle of principle for them and other women interviewed by CNN.
Emily recently filed a supplement claim, which included statements from men her husband Michael served with in Iraq explaining his mental health decline. She also had to call the medical examiner who performed Michael’s autopsy to amend his death certificate so it lists his PTSD and TBI as contributing causes of his suicide.
Though her husband’s death is never far from her mind, she said, delving into such details “is making me reopen things I’m trying not to.”
“That death certificate is not a piece of paper,” she said. “It is like the script to my worst nightmare.”
She hopes the new filing will win over the VA. She knows if she goes the other route and appeals, she won’t get a decision for a long time.
“If I appeal it, it’s years. I don’t have years, I have four small kids,” Emily said. “He deserved better than this. His kids deserve better than this.”
CNN’s Kyung Lah and Anna-Maja Rappard contributed to this report.
Videos by Kyung Lah and Anna-Maja Rappard
Graphics by Lou Robinson and Way Mullery
Were you denied VA benefits following a veteran’s suicide? Email jeff.winter@cnn.com
How CNN reported this story
To report on the VA’s history of denying benefits claims from families of veterans who died by suicide, CNN reviewed government records detailing tens of thousands of appeals of denied VA claims.
Claims are reviewed by a Regional Office, and denied claims are appealed first to the Board of Veterans Appeals, and then to the Court of Appeals of Veterans Claims. CNN downloaded data on appeals published by the CAVC, and used keyword searches for both the CAVC data and BVA records to identify cases where a veteran died by suicide and his or her family was denied benefits.
Additional cases were found using social media and legal databases.
In total, CNN found 469 relevant appeals that spanned seventy years, dating back as far as the early 1950s and as recent as last year.
CNN compiled information from the records about each veteran’s active-duty service and mental health history and the history of the claim appeal to understand how the VA approved or denied these claims.
